Bill's guide to dealing with boredom
by Constellation Temptation
Summary: Hi, Bill Cipher here. Invited (not kidnapped) Shooting Star and Pine Tree to help me in this guide to dealing with boredom! Have any funny and whacky, crazy ideas on how to get rid of this horrid and evil case of boredom? PM them to me or leave them in the reviews. I will use it as long as it isn't rated M or T.
1. Chapter 1

"Hey suckers. That's right, I know what your thinking, 'Get the heck out of my head you no good brain demon!' Well, show some respect, i'm here to help you, so just deal with me being here for just a few minutes, would ya! Ahem, anyways, my name is Bill, i'm in your wallet, I know everything about you, including that time when you lost that creepy doll thing. Anyway, your familiar with me from Gravity Falls, home to the worst tourist destination in the world. Anyway, your bored, I can tell. Heck, even Shooting Star here can tell!"

"Let me and my brother go Bill, you will not hold us captive!" she shakes her fist through cage bars.

"Ha, anyway, this is 'Bill's guide to boredom!' With special guest appearance by... drum role please... Pine Tree and Shooting star!" Light flash through the dark Dreamscape onto the cage.

"Anything you'd like to say to your fans kids?" holds up microphone.

"I hope this is a one-shot so this will be over soon." Pine Tree grumbles.

"Anyway, here are some ideas for if your bored!"

1. read this fanfic. (Step 1 in progress.)

2. Write in the reviews funny things for us to demonstrate on the show! (Will only except ones that are non-gore and below the M rating) P.s, try to make them as funny as possible!

"Alright, now all we have to do is wait in boredom till someone bothers to read this and gives us some ideas!"

_Tick tock, tick, tock._

"I think we're gonna have to keep this going for another chapter! Or maybe 45 more chapters!"

"Dang it Bill!" Pine Tree snaps his fingers.

**Anyway, Bill and I can't get bored when this whole story is about relieving boredom. It would be bad for my already pitifully small ego! So please write some funny ideas in the reviews! Thanks! :) **


	2. Chapter 2

"Well, no one so far has read _or _helped me, so i'm just gonna come up with a few ideas of my own for the meantime. Anyway. For this, i''m gonna need a volunteer. No one? Alright, einey meiny miney... YOU!" Points to Dipper.

"What, why me!"

"Because life ain't fair, so put in these headphones and brace yourself for the worst." hands ipod.

"Sigh." Pine Tree screams, and tries to take out ear set.

"A ha ha ha! Put Stan's gift shop music (The one with the 'subtle messages') on your friend! A ha ha ha! This is only too good."

Pine Tree finally get's headphones off.

"Why couldn't this have been a one-shot!? One-shot's are good, they can just be a little short. Shorts OK! Nothing like a one-shot!"

"Suck it up bro-bro, it can't be that bad."

"Fine, then you give it a shot?!" shoves headphones into Shooting Stars ears, and hits play.

"AAAH, it hurts, turn it off, turn it off!"

"Ah ha ha ha ha! I don't know why I made this guide, all I really need it these two! A ha ha ha!"

"Find this entertaining, huh?" Dipper tries to put earphones on me, but i'm to far away, so he strains his arm until ipod drops. "Oh man."

"Ah ha ha ha! We could do this all day, but this will eventually get boring. So on to my next idea!" World slowly blurs and becomes Mystery Shack. Mabel and Dipper are no longer in cage.

"Alright, let's have some fun!" Twins and I sneak towards Grunkle Stan's bedroom, where we hear is thunderous snores.

"You two ready?" The twins are gone. With a snap, they're back.

"Huh, but we got away! We were outside..." Pine Tree stuttered.

"You think I don't know that? Now let's get this over with, and you'll be one step closer to leaving!"

"Deal. So what are we doing anyway?"

"Prank."

"What sorta prank?"

"Going into his mind and messing with his dream."

"Works for me!" Mabel chirped.

Inside the dream, there were dozens of tourists buzzing about, buying everything they see. Wendy is sleep deprived, and actually _working._ Hard.

Mabel from Stan's dream is dressed as a fairy, a has a gnome is her hand, giving people turns in using it as a throw up gun, and hitting the targets.

"Ha, i'm a baurgh fairy!" Shooting Star giggled.

"Where am I?" Dipper looked around.

"There you are!"

Where I point is Dipper, helping Stan count his money.

"Hey, for once i'm not the embarrassing attraction." Dipper beamed. It's almost like this it's our dream we're face- hey, wait a second."

"Ah ha ha ha! Finally figured out _your _the ones i'm pranking! But that was only to see how long till you'd notice. Anyway, now to get to Stan's _real_ Dream!"


	3. Chapter 3

"Alright, got some ideas thanks to some reviewers. One of them was 'Give Mabel Smile Dip'. One step ahead of ya pal!" Shows Mabel in the corner, mouth foaming.

"Anyway, another one has to do with..." squints at page. "Shooting Star turning me into a Dorito using a bannana?! Must have read that wrong." carelessly throws out paper.

_Meanwhile, in Mabel's smile dip hallucination..._

"Die you evil demon! Eat bannana!

_Five seconds later in Mabel's smile dip dream..._

"Yum, giant dorito!" Mabel is licking imaginary cheese off fingers.

_In the real world..._

"I wonder what Shooting Star's thinking right now..."

Then Mabel come back into focus.

"Dorito!" she shouts as she chases me around, trying to eat me.


	4. Chapter 4

"I'm never letting Mabel have smile dip again. Period, anyway, I got a lot safer boredom helper. It has to do with Stan wearing a wedding dress he stole off of his ex-wife, a wrecking Ball, killing ninjas. This should be fun!"

_When in Stan's smile dipped up dream..._

"I CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALL SUCKERS!" Stan screamed at the top of his voice, about to slam into the Mystery shack, which currently had a roof full of ninja Gideons in black outfits (normal ninja wear) Stan screams, still on the wrecking ball, hitting Ninjas with a sword he hid in his really tiny petite high heel.

"Die you evil wrecking ball haters!" The wrecking ball slams into the roof, making all the Gideon make retarded, running away alley cat sounds.

"REEEE!"

"Yeah!" Stan's eyes are facing in opposite directions.

_In the real world..._

"Shooting Star, I think you gave him an overdose of the cursed candy!"

We (and several customers) are running around screaming as Stan (In a wedding dress) is randomly slashing at people.

"Help!"

**Wow, this was a funny yet illegally dangerous boredom cure. It was awesome, and I hope you liked it too. Writing this and hearing these hilarious ideas is helping me a LOT with my boredom. Yay! :D **


	5. Chapter 5

"Hm, Me vs. Bill Nye... Who's Bill Nye? Dang it, why is there always that _one _thing that I don't know!? Anyway, there's another one which is Mew vs. Arceus... We all saw this one folks (or at least wanted to see it) the strongest Pokemon in the world VS. A god pokemon. Mew is said to be the ancestor of _all _pokemon, but that's impossible if Arceus is the one who created the universe. This epic showdown might clear things up. Shooting Star, could you get the popcorn?"

"Why, whatcha watching?"

"An adorable pink kitten creaming a giant god!"

"Alright! I'll get the smile dip too!"

"NOO!"

_Meanwhile, under the sea..._

"So why do I have to do this again Bill?" Dipper called on the speaker.

"Because, someone requested it, now go demonstrate what it's like to walk on sea urchins bare footed! And don't forget the blind fold. The request very pacifically mentioned a blindfold"

"This isn't fair!"

"So what?"

"Fine, i'll do it!"

_Back in the dreamscape..._

"That mew looks like the kittens I shot at you from my fists." Shooting Star remarked.

"So it does, so it does. Can you believe it's taking that beast down?"

"Can you believe my kitten fists took _you _down?"

There is a loud, far off scream of pain in the distance.

"What was that?"

"Must've been Arceus, look, that pokemon's biting it's leg!"

"Woo! Yeah!" Mabel's fists fly in the air.

Then Dipper walks in wet.

"Hey, want some popcorn? A pink fuzz ball just defeated a god!"

"No thanks, i'm gonna go search up 'How to get out of an evil fanfiction'

"Suite yourself!" Mabel takes a handful of popcorn and shoves it in her face as the mew dances in victory.


	6. Chapter 6

For some peculiar reason, I'm humming the song 'Made me Realize' while balancing a pineapple on my head. Weird thoughts on world domination keep popping up outta nowhere, but I have to admit, there smart ideas. Right now the whole town (including the paranormal creatures) are watching Dipper being forced to do the lamby lamby dance. I thought everyone (other than Robbie) would be laughing, but I guess when beasts of all sizes are staring down on you, it's kinda hard to be in a humorous mood. By the end, everyone thought it was kinda adorable, except for Robbie, Gideon (he was more angry that everyone was aweing at Dipper's performance rather than his) When the pineapple falls off my head, I stop humming and stop with the crazy world domination plots. I already _own_ the world!

The weirdest thing happened though. After Pine Tree's act, a random kid fell from the sky, landing on him, making a crunching noise, yelled "I'm WARRIORSLUVER 11!" brushed themselves off, and ran away. Back to the guide though.

"Alright, for this next chapter, i'm gonna completely ignore the idea sent to me about NOT BEING THE ALL KNOWING EYE OF GRAVITY FALLS! because starring in a TV show that we're already a part of doesn't really count. But we ARE in fact gonna do a series of ideas in this chapter."

"What do we do first?" Pine Tree asks.

"Well... it says we have to do a really gross pie eating contest. The reviewer who gave me this couldn't decide whether the pies should be chair flavored or grass flavored, so we're gonna do BOTH!"

"Ha, you say it like that's a good thing!" Dipper laughs.

"It is, I get to watch you eat them."

"But it includes your name in this too."

"What!? Show me that!" snatches paper out of Dipper's hand.

"OK, let's get this started before I throw up, because I assure you, there is already gonna be enough of it.

_At the table..._

Dipper and Mabel are already sick after their first pie. I'm already on my 16th! I shovel them in.

"Hey, Bill's cheating! He's sending his pies to another dimension!" Pine Tree points at me. "So therefore he's disqualified! And because I ate two pies, I win!"

"Sorry Dipper, but I just finished my third pie, and times up! So I win!" Mabel giggles before throwing up. "Ow, here comes the aftermath."

"A ha ha ha! Pine Tree, I can't believe you mad it sound like being disqualified was a bad thing! Ah ha ha ha!" Dipper throws up.

"Ok, let's move on before I'm even more disgusted. Next up, we have the Cursed Candy Contest. I for one, will not be joining, because, as Pine Tree said, i'm disqualified."

"What!? But that's... it's... that's not what I- oh forget it."

Pine Tree sits at the second table. On it are 35 smile dip packets, lot's of bowls full of pure sugar, and mugs filled with cups of coffee.

"Oh boy..."

"I would rather skip this because the last two times we added smile dip to our boredom relievers, they turned out as disasters, with Mabel trying to eat me and Stan slashing his sword at us and what not, but this could be fun!"

Dipper started first, powering the smile dip in his mouth, swallowing the sugar, and rinsing his mouth with extra caffeinated coffee. At once, his eyes dilated into tiny specks as he poured seven packs of smile dip into his mouth at once, drinking a whole jug of coffee.

"It's Smile Dip-per!" no one laughed at my joke with me (though Dipper was laughing hysterically due to the cursed candy, sugar, and coffee.)

Mabel was blankly staring at her packets, unmoving.

"What's the matter Shooting Star? Afraid of a little candy?"

"No!" she opened a smile dip packet, held her nose, and slowly drained it of it's evil contents.

Then the timer went off.

"With Dipper at 34, and Mabel at one-"

Shooting Star then spat out the smile dip, which she never swallowed.

"My mistake, with Dipper at 34 and Mabel at 0, the winner is... wait, where is Pine Tree?"

Mabel shrugs. "Probably gone out with a knife and started doing some rated T stuff.

Soon enough, Dipper came back, and thank goodness he never left the Mystery Shack. He had just scared away the only two customers (due to Stan's show earlier) and trashed the entire place.

His eyes were normal.

"I'm never doing that ever again." He swears to us.

"Yeah, we can tell you, we're never letting anyone near this stuff again." Mabel said.

"Now, let's read this last one... chase random people in their Dreamscapes, hitting them with overgrown bananas. Ha! Why not just do it in real life!?"

I grab three smile dip packets, pour them down my throat, and laugh like a maniac as a float out the door with huge bananas. Being an ALL POWERFUL DEMON, might I remind those who may be in doubt (and will certainly get hit by bananas) smile dip and total chaos do not mix.

"Ahahaha!"


	7. Chapter 7

"Let's see... the next on is to tell Gideon he's fat. hm, that should be an easy time waster looking back to what we did the last few chapters.

_In town..._

Gideon is innocently walking through town when the twin come up to him.

"What are you two up to?" his eyes narrowed.

"Someone told us to do something really fun." Dipper shrugged. Behind his back, Dipper counted down.

"Hey." Dipper said.

"Gideon." Mabel said

"You're." Dipper said.

"Fat!" I joined in on the two in saying the final word.

"Ack! Bill! How dare you force Mabel to say that to my face against her will!"

"Actually, I've wanted to do that since forever!" Mabel stated.

"Ugh! I'll get my revenge! On you Dipper, and Bill!" he stormed off angrily.


	8. Chapter 8

"This next one is going to be the most bizarre thing i'm ever gonna do. Here is goes!" I focus hard until I turn into an overly adorable kitten with a bow tie and a hat.

"Aw!" Shooting Star comes towards me with huge, pupil filled eyes.

"Stay... stay back! I have claws and barely know how to control them, but there still claws! Back away before I turn this into a rated T fanfic! I can do that!"

Mabel still came closer, Dipper trying to restrain her.

"Mabel, that's still Bill!"

"I don't care. Must Pet kitten..." her eyes were still wide, zombie walking in place (Dipper's hand was still stopping her) her arms out stretched to me.

"You know what! Rated T isn't so bad, I get to let lose chaos!" I lunge at her, claws unsheathed, when out of the corner of my eye, I see a glowing dot.

"Ha ha ha! You really think i'm gonna chase that thing Pine Tree? Ah ha ha ha-it calls to me..." (it turns out it isn't Pine Tree with the laser, it's a person called PEACE LOVE AND SMILE DIP(how does smile dip have ANYTHING to do with peace?)) I say the last part in an almost hypnotic type way. It moves to the left. I lunge at it, only for it to climb on to my paw! I take my claw, and try to stab it. Bad idea. But It doesn't pierce the skin. The pain, along with Dipper's chuckles, brings me back into focus.

"All right, I did the thing, now I can turn back!" Then I see the red dot. I can hardly keep my eyes focused on the twins. It calls for me. Dipper notices this, and starts laughing before I turn back to normal. Mabel is now back to normal.

"Where'd the kitty go? She turns her head left and right, scanning the area frantically for it.


	9. Chapter 9

Right now, some kid calling themselves GravityFallsMD is challenging me to a fight. His argument is really annoying.

"If I win, you let the twins go, and if I lose then, um, wait, I don't want this story to end, but I also feel bad for the twins, and I probably won't win anyway, so-" I cut him off by throwing a ball of blue fire at him.

"There, I won, now, here's another way to relieve boredom. This is a quick one, because a demonstration won't be needed. Put a blindfold on your sleeping friend, and leave them out in the sun. When they wake up, they won't know what happened, so they'll just go to sleep."

Well that's it for now! See you when I get another review.

"I'm ok!" I hear GravityFallsMD say from a distance.


	10. Chapter 10

"Someones come up with the nickname Billy for me. Huh. It's kinda weird for someone to call me something other than Bill. Ok, what's the newest ideas... Get whacked with a purse by old lady. Huh, another new for me! Let's go do it then!"

_In the flower shop in town..._

"Yes, I would like to purchase some daisies!" a frustrated customer yelled at the old lady at the cash register.

"What? You want to date my daughter Daisy? But I didn't know you knew her!"

"You know what, i'll just get a rose."

"You now want to date my friend Rosy? I don't think I know a Rosy."

"You know what, i'm gonna go out into the woods, and pick some flowers for myself!" The man stomped out of the shop so angry he didn't notice a demon walking right past him!

When I got to the counter, I started coming up with my insult when...

"AAAAH! MONSTER! MONSTER!" she started to hit me with a lead flower.

"Hey! That had really sharp, plastic thorns on it!" I whine.

"She throws her purse at me, it spilling all it's contents.

"How did you fit an anvil in here!?

"Get away from me!" she croaked loudly. Then she tried to throw a metal safe at me. A large one.

"Ok, Ok, i'm leaving!"

I then teleport away


	11. Chapter 11

I had just gotten home to the Dreamscape when a kid fell out of nowhere and screamed "GIVE ME DA GIANT DORITO!" I screamed and ran all over my own _home_ to get away from that kid.

"What is wrong with you people today?"

"NOMNOMNOMNOM!" it shouts in a hungry, scary way.

"Help!"

_In a random place in town..._

"Uh, hello miss, can I help you?" said Lazy Susan.

"Yeah, uh, i'd like to bye this place. Here's two dollars." Mabel placed the money on the counter.

"Well, this money seems real. Let me go get the deed to the property." Lazy Susan went into the back room.

"And get me some pancakes while your at it!" Mabel called.

"What about Waffles, will waffles do?"

"Ok, I can be flexible!"

_In the shack..._

Dipper was walking up to random people, saying "I like muffins on Tuesday" in a robotic, emotionless voice. He got a lot of different reactions. Someone gave him a gift card for a place down the street that sold muffins and had a special on tuesdays, another tried to give him a moldy, linty muffing from their pocket, (old man McGucket) which he quickly denied, saying he only liked them on _tuesdays._ Some people just looked at him strangely.


	12. Chapter 12

'Billy', as the reviewer seems to keep calling me for some reason, has asked me to do something really weird. But here it goes!

I appear in the middle of town square dressed up as Batman (not in a triangle form of course)

"I'm Batman!" I say in a deep voice. Then I realize that this is an outside held town meeting.

"Yeah... i'm Batman!"

Everyone is quiet.

"I'm, uh, gonna go save the world or something..." this was awkward on it's one. No, it was just plain strange.

"Yeah, uh, bye." I teleport out of there.

_In the Dreamscape..._

"I can't believe I own a diner! For only two dollars!" Mabel exclaimed.

"I can't believe how many people gave me muffins!"

"I can't believe i'm saying this, but, let's take a moment to realize how insignificant you two really are compared to the bigger picture." I say.

Silence.

"Pretty big actually, considering i'm the bigger picture! And you're here talking to me!"

"Anyway, we have another idea! We're gonna make Aioshima come to life!"

Mabel fist pumps.

"What's Aioshima?" Dipper asks.

"Something really crazy from Mabel's dreams in smile dip land."

"But what does it look like?"

"You don't wanna know." I say quickly


	13. Chapter 13

Ha, I just heard the funniest thing! Someone said I should turn into a human, then said I might get some _real_ emotions. A ha ha ha ha! Oh, wait, she wasn't kidding...


	14. Chapter 14

"Today, we are gonna be yellying out random things after doing even more random things!" Dipper says.

"Hey that's my line!"

_Soos's ex-girl friend..._

"Ooh, a dating website. And this man is exactly like the man I used to date! Let's see the file picture!" a picture of waddles face pops up. "Block!"

_In the Dreamscape..._

"Aw, who could block Waddles? He's perfect!"

"Yeah, That's what you said about Bearo." Dipper said.

_In the library..._

Hey, dude!" I yell at a guy a few feet away.

"Yeah?" he looks at me like I only have one eye, which I can proudly say is true. I throw a book at his face.

"Ha ha, you've been Facebooked!"

"Now, what's next on this random list? ... Italian Restaurant Mario!"

_In the fanciest place in town..._

I have turned myself into the famous video gamer Mario. I run into the restaurant.

"Were's the SPAGHETTI!?"

I sit down at a table. A waiter comes.

"What can I get you, Mario, sir?"

"I'll have a glass of diet water thank you." with a confused face, and a shrug, the waiter goes into the kitchen, and comes back a minute later with a tall glass.

"Here you are sir." I take a sip, do a spit take, and yell, "I SAID DIET!"

_In town square, the town meeting is still going on._

Mabel sits in a chair next to Grunkle Stan with a glass of milk, and a cookie. She dips the cookie in the milk, only for it to drop outta her fingers, and land at the bottom of the glass. Then, all of a sudden, she starts crying. Everyone goes to try and comfort her.

"What's wrong little girl?" a man asked.

"My... my cookie... it drowned!" she sobbed. The crowd could obviously see that she was distressed, so the tried to calm her down even though the knew what had just happened was really... small.

Then of course, I saw my chance. There was a huge crowd of people trying to comfort her. I was already in my usual, triangle form.

"Hey, everyone, your shadows are all evil!" I yell. Everyone turned to me. I walk up to a little boy.

"If you don't run from your shadow now, it will _eat _you." I say casually. The kid ran away crying to his mother. I teleport away before the town can try to beat me up for it.

I appear down town, where a group of college students are gossiping about some guy. I walk up to them.

"So, are we gonna kill him or what?" I am greeted with silence.

"Good to know!" I say, taking out a chain saw. They all scream and run away.

"A ha ha ha! Now, what's next... Nothing?! All well."

**Sorry if I haven't updated already today, had no ideas, or reviews, but someone sent me this list! This was fun.**


	15. Welcome back!

"Welcome back everybody! We're back and we're bored! Sorry for the long wait, we had to have a little chat with the cops about our 'harmless' little schemes. I blame you guys. Anyway, we're back to our old tricks, and it's time to go crazy!"

"Yeah, well, for some of the stuff you send us, we're just gonna list them, because:

A) We are lazy

B) Some of them sound WAY funnier when just listed." Dipper says.

"No more boredom!" Mabel says, doing jazz hands.

"So, first up, we have "Tell Dipper Wendy's dating Robbie again."

"Pfft, as if, i'd believe THAT would ever happen." Dipper makes a gesture with his hand, as if waving something away."

"I don't know, it is possible. I mean, Robbie DOES have brain washing music..."

"Whatever, moving on. This next one is

"Dipper: Go to a store, pick up some cleaning sponges and say, "Spongebob what have they done to you?!"  
Billy: In a quiet area, just start saying TROLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLLOOLOLOLOLOLOLO.  
Billy: Tell someone you love them. If they run away, chase them.  
Mabel: Dress up as a wizard then stand in a crowded area screaming "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at people.  
Billy: When at any store, follow someone around and put random store items in their cart.  
Dipper: Put a one of those Dora doll in the middle of Walmart. When someone tries to pick it up yell "SWIPER NO SWIPING."  
Mabel: Go to a store and buy bird seed. Then ask the clerk how long it will take the birds to grow.  
Billy: Go to McDonalds and ask for a happy meal with extra happy.  
Dipper: Follow strangers around a store and spray everything they touch with disinfectant.  
Dipper: Inhale some helium, walk up behind a very young kid, and say "Follow the yellow brick road!"  
Billy: Go jump on a random guys back and yell "THE SKY IS FALLING RUN MAN RUN!" and see what happens.  
Billy: Fill your mouth with whipped cream, then run down the street screaming "I HAVE RABIES!"  
Mabel: Draw a face on an egg, put him on a wall, push him off and scream, "Humpty, NO!"  
Dipper: Go to a horror movie and when everyone's quiet scream as loud as you can... see who jumps."

"Ha ha! We'll have to try that sometime!. Maybe in the next chapter or something, when the cops aren't trying to hunt us down!"

"Next one!" Mabel smiles. "Bill turn into a pony. Then go to Mars. And tell all the martians your their new pony over lord  
Dipper eat the muffin old man McGucket gave you.  
Mabel check and see if anyone wants to date Waddles yet."

"Yeah, well, would you believe me if I said I have already done that?"

"Wait, you went to mars?" Mabel says, wide eyed.

"You had the guts to turn into a pony?" Dipper asks, eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Nobody is surprised that there were martians at all?"

Everyone shakes their head.

"Whatever happened to reality? Anyway, next one is:

1. Someone (except for Mabel) has to have a staring contest with Bear-o  
2. I'm in a bear-o mood today. Get Bill to posses him, and scare away people.  
3. Have Quentin Trembly stumble upon them, and start a rediculous old-timey-butterscotch fueled speech about the origin of smile dip, or something weirder.  
4. Characters react to reading fanfiction (lame I know)  
5. The epic return of Rumble Mc Skirmish"

"Well, finally, something we can actually do in the Dreamscape. So, who wants to have a starring contest with Bearo-o?" Mabel asks. Everyone backs away.

"Well, since Janus-Ekat Writer sugested it, maybe THEY should do it."

"Who's Janus-Ekat writer?" Dipper asks. A random person gets up, and runs t the nearest exit.

"THAT was Janus-Ekat Writer. Well, looks like they're gone. Alright Dipper, now you have to do it."

"What, why me? You have an eye too!"

"Are you kidding? That puppet is more demonic than me! And that says a lot."

"Fine, i'll do it."

Mabel takes out Bear-o, and places him on a table directly across from Dipper. (Takes intakes of Dipper and Bear-o, in other words, going back and forth between the two.)

"I... I can't do it!" Dipper put's his hands up in defeat. Everyone boos.

"Hey, at least, I tried, Bill just didn't try! If your gonna boo anyone, it should be him!"

"You know what? I was gonna pretend that we didn't get this next thing in the reviews, but now I feel in the mood to do it! This next one is:

"turn Dipper into a Dream Demon like Bill."

"What?! Who would write such a horrible thing? Who would put such a thing into existence?!" Dipper exclaimed.

"Nice try Pine Tree, but if I tell you, i'm sure you would try to exact your revenge. *Whispers* There name is Corrisma."

SNAP! Dipper know is floating slightly off the ground, wearing a tophat, a bowtie, and his shirt and shorts now have brick like patterns on them.

"I"LL KILL YOU!" He shouts, and starts shooting fire.

"AAAAAH!"

"While Bill and Dipper fight to the death, let's move on." Mabel cheerfully said, while looking at the long list in her hands. We are fighting in the back round. Screams can be heard.

"Bill should summon people from other universes and ask how they deal with boredom."

"That sounds boredom relieving!" Snap! Two kids resembling Gideon and Pacifica appear.

"Where are we?" Pacifica says, looking around.

"Wow! Reverse Pacifica!" Mabel squeals.

"I'm sorry, but what did you just say?" Gideon asks.

"But wait, there's more!" Snap! Mabel and Dipper look alikes appear.

"So, how do you 4 deal with boredom?" Mabel asks.

"Well, we try to destroy out enemies, like Pacifica here." Rev. Mabel points to Rev. Pacifica.

"And Gideon." Rev. Dipper adds.

"Don't you touch him! He's my sweet Sugarplum!" Rev. Mabel shouts at her brother.

"We broke up ages ago!" Rev. Gideon points out.

"Stay out of this!" Rev. Mabel snaps. Rev. Gideon flinches away.

"Well, I like to knit when i'm bored." Rev. Pacifica says. Behind them, the other reverse universe kids have just broken into a huge fist fight. Dipper and Bill's fight to the death can also be noticed.

"No way! Me too!" Mabel says happily, completely oblivious to the chaos going on behind her.

"Oh my god, YAY! My cousin is always, like, knitting is boring."

"Yeah, my brother's always saying, Let's go on an adventure instead! But i'm like, no thank you bro bro, all I need are a pair of knitting needles and yarn!"

**5 minutes later...**

The two girls are sitting, cross legged on the ground, knitting. The two fights going on behind them have turned into one massive fight.

"Hey, do you hear something?" Rev. Mabel asks, looking up from her knitting.

"No." she replied. Mabel shrugged and continued knitting. The fights progressed until everyone collasped on the ground, tired and unconscious, while the two continued to knit.


	16. Chapter 16

"Forget the introductions, you know who we are by now. Let's just get on with it."

"The next little list of ideas are:

Bill: since I'm feeling a little irony, turn into a human ! I'm serious.  
Dipper: Go around town, singing " The End Is Nigh" by VenetionPrincess.  
Mabel: Ask everyone if they have bibble.  
Bill: send you , Mabel and Dipper to Ferryport Landing! Then flirt with Sabrina .  
Mabel: Flirt with Puck.  
Dipper: Flirt with Red.  
Bill: die.  
Everyone : Watch iCarly and Victorious.  
characters : Watch Gravity Falls .  
Everyone read fanfiction.  
Bill: battle your "daughter" Ella. Trust me, she's in a bad mood today...  
Mabel: Listen to Big Time Rush.  
Bill: listen to the vocaloids"

"Well, turning into a human won't be Hard. There is no way i'm going to do "The End is Nigh". What part of "Synthesized music! It hurts!" don't you people understand!? And where is Ferryport landing? Who's Sabrina? And... I'm pretty sure I can't die. And I don't have a daughter last time I checked. And what's vocaloids? Dipper, could you hand me that IPod over there?"

"Yeah, OK, here." Dipper hands over the IPod and earphones.

"What the- what is this garbage? Vocaloids is horrible! Get it away! Get it away!" throws IPod into a portal to another dimension.

"OK, let's see, what else do we have..."

"Turn everybody into mews,send them into the real mew's dream, and make them scream "I WUMBO, YOU WUMBO, WE ALL WUMBO! Then turn them into dekus and send them to Hyrule. PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSE. (Mention my name too)"

"Well, sounds like fun, except, where did that mew from chapter 5 go? Oh well, it'll turn up eventually... right Mabel?"

"Um... maybe. Just... Maybe... You'll never find it! It's mine! You hear me!?"

"Um.. Ok, that totally wasn't suspicious. Oh, yeah, the person who sent that last idea in is "Shiny VictiniMew." What's next Dipper?"

"You don't wanna know." Dipper passes paper over anyway.

"Bleh! Yeah, I'm not even gonna mention this one. You have a dark mind "TeamChaosPrez" A very dark mind. OK, i'll give some hints to what it is. It involves a blue dress, but that's all i'm gonna say. Anyway, let's get on with one of MY ideas."

"What's that?" Dipper asks.

"Confessing your love to Wendy of course!"

"What! Never!" In a flash of light, all three of us appear in town square to see Wendy.

"Do it Pine Tree."

Dipper sighs, and walks up to Wendy.

"hey, um, Wendy, can I tell you ... uh...something?" he stutters.

"Yeah, sure." she shrugs.

"i um... a-"

"Beat it, it's the cops!" Mabel yells.

"Uh? What?" Dipper asks.

"No time, gotta get out of here!" grabs Dipper by collar of shirt and floats away. Wendy just stares ahead, confused.

"Hey! It's that psychotic triangle again! Get it!" Officer Blubbs yells.

"So, this concludes this chapter of "Bill's Guide to Dealing with Boredom." I hope you all see why we can't come into town right now. See you next time!"

"Halt! In the name of the law!" Deputy Dureland shouts.

"Keep running kids!"


	17. Chapter 17

"Hey guys, welcome back! If your wondering, we teleported back to the Dreamscape before the cops could catch us. They came pretty close too! Anyway, I just want to try one of my OTHER ideas. And it is, wait for it... A GAME SHOW!"

Mabel and Dipper cheer in the back round.

"Now, like all game shows, we need some players. And to get players, we need to stage some additions. Now, so we can get started, I have randomly chosen (Forced) some fanfiction writers. Just letting you know, I did not actually ask them for permission to make them into this guide, but if you really don't want to be in the Game Show and I have forced you in, just PM and I can have you removed or added in some other way. OK, moving on to the rules. You can PM me if you want to be part of this. All you have to do is go to my assistant In-training's (Her name is Constellation Temptation) account and click the PM button, tell her your username, and, this is optional, your real name or a nickname to go by. Remember, if you don't want to give out your name, that's OK. Anyway, tell her what your introduction is, why you think you should be on this Game Show, what your talents are, what talents you will perform, and then wait for a response. Example. Constellation Temptation, come here for a sec."

"Hello, my user name is Constellation Temptation, my nickname is Stella. I would like to be on this show because I love Gravity Falls. My talents are art, sports, etc, and what i'm gonna be doing today is summon a demon."

"Thank you Stella, you may go now. Anyway, you don't have to give your talents, only what you're going to do. Your reason can't be as generalized as Stella's, because everyone would just say that. Anyway, it has to be something you probably could do in real life. Anyway, our first forced contestant is Autumn!" Girl walks up on stage.

"Um, why am I here?" she asks.

"Because I made you. Now hurry up."

"OMG! It's BILL CIPHER! AND DIPPER AND MABEL! THIS IS LIKE A DREAM COME TRUE!"

"Well, introduce yourself, the stage is just over there." Dipper points to stage. The three of us sit down in chairs at the front of the stage. Autumn climbs onto stage.

"Hello, my name is Autumn, my user name is BillCipher4, and-"

"Your in."

"What-"

"I said your in."

"But I haven't even done anything yet!"

"Doesn't matter, now get off stage." Autumn shrugs and get's off stage.

"OK, that was the first person to go. I'm sorry BillCipher4 that I did not ask you first, and I'm sure your surprised to be in this chapter. You probably would have yes anyway. Hope you want to participate! See you later!"


	18. Chapter 18

"OK, have a few more things.

- Bill, possess Dipper!  
- Dipper and Mabel, drink evil water! (Turns you into a crazy evil demon!) Sounds like fun for another day. Besides, I kinda used up all the Evil Water I have at the moment."

"What did you do with it?" Dipper asks.

"Oh, you'll see when we do the Game Show."

"Anyway, another list of ideas:

Dipper, you can be excused as long ad you like.  
Bill, how do you know that song? Don't give us "I know a lot of things" quote. Apparently, you don't know a lot of things. I've heard watching people makes you dumber...  
Kiss Mabel.  
Read fanfiction, people there been giving you children, idiot!  
Dipper, go on a date with Wendy.  
What mew from Chapter 5?"

"Oh, If you won't let me say my catch phrase, then let me tell you this: Google knows lot's of things too. Anyway, my good friend google told me the song. And your right, humans are dumb. But watching them doesn't necessarily make you dumber. No, I'm not kissing Shooting Star. Might I remind all of you that this is a guide to what to do when your board and not a truth or dare fic. If you want one of those, Constellation Temptation can recommend you one."

"Wait, I get time off? YES!" Dipper's hand shoots up in the air. "...Except I can't really use it because the cops are still looking for us. Darn!"

"Keep your chin up Pine Tree. Every cloud has a silver lining! Maybe. Actually, never in my life have I seen a silver-lined cloud. Nevermind. Next!

Well. Here is a list if random things:  
- make vanilla pudding. Put in mayo jar. Eat in public.  
- hire two private investigators, get them to follow each other.  
- wear a shirt that says "life" hand out lemons on a street corner.  
- run into a store, ask what year it is, and when someone answers, yell "IT WORKED!" Then run out skipping.  
- buy a parrot. Train it to say "Help! I've become a parrot!"

Hehe, just another random list! This is pretty good. Who's up for some prank-calling?"

The twins both raise their hands.

"OK Mabel, you call Duck-tective, and Dipper... find some other detective guy. This is gonna be fun."

"Uh, why are we gonna get them to spy on eachother?" Dipper asks.

"Because imagine how funny that would be."

Mabel and Dipper both glance at eachother.

"Where's the phone?" They say in unison.


	19. Chapter 19

"Just received another PM, Mr. Cipher, sir!" Constellation Temptation calls from the other side of the room.

"Great! What does it say?"

"It says "Watch every single episode and movie of Pokemon!" That sounds fun, i'll go get the popcorn! Hey! Janus-Ekat Writer, BillCipher4! Wanna come watch this with us?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever." Janus-ekat writer says.

"Fine with me." BillCipher4 walks up next to her.

"Alright, let's get this marathon over with." Dipper says, sitting on a couch. Mabel sat next to him, and everyone eventually found a spot to sit.

**A week later...**

"Let me get this straight, this kid goes on a journey, _alone! _And he never ages, yet he DIES countless times. Like, what's with that?"

"It's best not to think about it." Constellation Temptation says. BillCipher4 nods with her.

"Seriously, Pokemon is just strange. Like, Gravity Falls strange." Dipper points out.

"If you want more strange, watch Secret Saturdays." Constellation Temptation says.

"What the heck is that?" Bill asks.

"It's a show that used to be on Bommerang. It was pretty good, though all the fanfics written for it were _really _bad, except for this one that got cancelled because the author went on permanent hiatus. Anyway, The whole first season was a total waste of time because it was a total goose chase, and the whole second season is running from the good guys. Because they were trying to freeze the main character or something. Then season three was them stopping the end of the world, and the main character becoming completely useless."

Everybody just stared at her.

"What? It was a good show. Not Gravity Falls good, but still pretty good."

"Why did I hire you?"

"Because i'm a friend of your cousin. Speaking of which, I almost forgot. I got a reviewer asking you to fight with her!"

"Wait, who did that come from?"

"You know the rules boss. They remain anonymous."

"You know the only reason I made that rule was so I could break it, right?"

"... I'm not telling you."

"Whatever, I'll fire you later. Well, I guess i'm fighting my cousin Katie. And if I have to fight her, than I have to go to a human form. So, another reviewer get's there wish. I'm gonna be a human... but that can wait till the next chapter! Good night everyone!"

"What, but we only just started!" Mabel whined.

"Mabel, we were watching pokemon for a week straight, this is the longest chapter we've made." Dipper pointed out.

"No! Constellation Temptation put a time leap in. It only shows us putting in the tapes and what was just said!"

"What!"

"Hey, don't make me look like the bad guy here! _He's _my boss!" she points out.

"Me? Your make your own decisions!"

"Guys, stop fighting!" Janus-ekat writer screamed.

"Yeah, you've all gone nuts!" BillCipher4 backed up her fellow fanfic writer.

As the two writers tried to break everyone apart, they ended up being pulled into the fray. It all turned into one huge fight. Just then, Katie walked through the door.

"Whoa, what's going on here, freak tornado?" Then she spotted her cousin. "Hey, whaddya know, it is a freak tornado. And Bill's right in the middle."

"Shut up and come help me!"

"Actually, i'm going to grab a camera and a can of soda, this is to good to miss."

"NO!"


	20. Mission Impossible! Unless your a demon

"So, uh, Stella. Your Bill Cipher's assistant." Dipper says.

"Yep."

"Uh, how did that happen anyway?"

"You'll see when I finish my fanfiction "His Kids" and I write the sequel." Stella says beaming.

"That's another thing I want to ask you about. If your here in gravity Falls, then how come you write fanfiction for it? It doesn't make any sense." Dipper says.

"Dipper, that's like saying that there is no point in writing books because your inside of the same world the plot of the story takes place."

"That's a good point actually." Dipper says.

"Move it people! We're on in a few hours! And we need to set everything up for the battle with my cousin!" I shouts into a megaphone.

"Wait, didn't we burn down our house the last time we fought?" Katie asks.

"Who cares? This is the Dreamscape."

"Yeah, OK, but aren't we gonna end up hurting everyone else that's here?"

"Nope! But just in case... Stella! Go make a potion or find a spell to make you guys survive being burned!"

"Do you think that spell in Adventure Time will work?" Stella asks.

"Yeah, whatever."

"To perform the spell, i'm gonna need you guys to run into town for a few things..."

"Are you crazy?!" Dipper shouts. "Last time we went down there, we almost got arrested!"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I am crazy. Now go!" Stella pushes Dipper, Mabel, Katie, and I into a portal.

"Where did that portal even come from?!" Dipper asks.

"I have no idea. Magic?"

"How much magic does that girl know?" Dipper asks again.

"Like she said, all of that will be revealed when she finishes her fanfic." Katie shrugs.

"What is that story of hers even about?" Mabel asks.

"You don't wanna go there." I say.

"I'm just gonna trust you on that one." Mabel says.

"Hey look, I just got a text message!" Katie says, taking out her phone. "It's from Stella."

"What does it say?"

"It says she can hear everything we're saying, and that her fanfiction is awesome, and that you are all butt faces..."

"... tell her she's fired when we get back."

"I'm sure you'll forget later." Dipper says.

"Let's just get this over with."

The portal spits the four of us out in town.

"Alright everybody, play the Mission Impossible music!"

"We need to change our appearance so that the police don't recognize us."

"Leave that to Mabel!" Mabel sayd smiling, taking out her knitting needles.

**5 minutes later...**

"We're going undercover... as eachother!" Mabel shouts.

"What?" Dipper says in disbelief.

"Yeah, OK, new plan. I use a spell to change all of our appearances."

"I'm actually OK the way I am. The cops aren't after me." Katie says.

"Now to turn into a human!" I snap, and become a twelve year old boy in a yellow hoodie and black pants.

"What about us?" Dipper asks.

"How would you like to become a blonde?"

"...I hate you."


End file.
